I Don’t Deserve to Be Loved: Stories We Tell Ourselves

As women, one of the many stories we tell ourselves is that we don’t deserve to be loved. Here’s how my first encounter with my horse Cadie showed that this simply isn’t true, and how accepting the fact we do deserve love is a step towards healing.

Cadie came into my life last week. I purchased her as a project horse from a sweet, young trainer who’d rescued her from an abusive home. She’d started her rehab, but couldn’t take it any further. I drove almost to the Canadian border to see her, even though I’d already decided to buy her from the post on Facebook. When I met her, it only solidified what I’d felt from seeing her six photos and video…she was supposed to be a huge part of my life.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the “trainwreck” that was inside this horse’s mind. When Cadie first arrived, I could tell she was stressed. After all, she’d been brought to a new place, in 100-degree weather, and there were no other horses there (Willow came in several hours later). She came flying out of the trailer. Quickly we let her know that she couldn’t run us down — a little natural horsemanship, twirl the lead line and some backing up brought her attention to us.

I know I could fix her physically in six months, but the time to bring her around mentally is…